


Seven Stages of Grief

by WriterOfFanFics



Category: British Comedy RPF
Genre: Break Up, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Five Stages of Grief, M/M, Moving On, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, brief mentions of, but it's seven, fall out, very brief - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 01:23:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16052546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterOfFanFics/pseuds/WriterOfFanFics
Summary: Russell's POV after him and Jon stop talking. It's vague, you can read as if they were friends or dating, it's all in how you look at it. Seven drabbles for each stage of grief.





	Seven Stages of Grief

** Shock **

 

I couldn’t sleep for three days after you left. I didn’t want to sleep or eat, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to do anything. You were everything to me, or almost everything and then you were gone. It was a shock and I didn’t want to move on, didn’t want to go on living without you in my life. I wanted you back, I needed to have you back in my life. I shook whenever I thought of you, someone said you weren’t coming back and I felt sick. I was lost without you.

 

** Denial **

 

I kept my room how I knew you liked it, I was certain you’d be back. I didn’t want to disturb anything. I even went to the shops and bought all your favourite things when they had run out so they would be here when you came over. My friends talked about you like this was it and told me that I should move on, I couldn’t understand because I knew you would be back. Nothing has changed, nothing ever will change. It’s us, it’s love. We’re unbreakable. You just needed time, you’d come back just as you always had.

 

** Anger **

 

I’m not an angry guy. I’m laid-back and the kind of guy that goes with the flow. After you left I became angry, shouting at people who didn’t deserve it. Though they might’ve deserved it – karmically. Maybe they hurt someone like you hurt me. At the time it didn’t matter, I was in a rage. I tore up the house, threw everything around, ripped the stuffing out of a pillow. I didn’t have to keep it clean.

You weren’t coming back. I cursed your name the whole time. How dare you hurt me the way you did without an explanation.

 

** Bargaining **

 

I wrote you letters I never sent, emails and DMs that never quite made it to your inbox. Each one saying variations of:

_“I’ll change, I have changed.”_

_“I’ll be the person you need me to be.”_

_“I’ll never touch another teaspoon, I swear. If only you’d come back to me.”_

I needed you to realise that I would give up everything for you. Career, friends, fame. I’d trade it all in to have you in my life again. I would have given my career for yours, I would relish in being in your shadow if that’s what it took.

 

** Guilt **

 

It was the fame, wasn’t it? That was the thing that tipped the scales and made you step away from me. I thought it was all wanted until I realised that all I wanted was you. I shouldn’t have gone to Australia. I shouldn’t have gone on in my career until you had the same momentum. I should have waited. I spent so much time blaming you that I didn’t realise I was the one at fault the entire time.

It was all my fault.

I ruined this, I drove you away. Me and my messes, noise and stupid habits.

 

** Depression **

 

I went to a gig of yours. It was a mistake. When I started crying I felt as if I had fallen three steps back. I was starting to get over you and did not want to. I started making plans for a future that didn’t include you. It broke my heart all over again. I shut myself away, I didn’t want a future that didn’t have you and if that was the only option I didn’t want a future at all.

My story almost ended there. By some miracle it didn’t, I guess in hindsight I’m happy about that.

 

** Acceptance  **

It was mum who finally got me back into the real world. The world without you. She coddled me but told me things and this time I listened. You were gone, living your own life and you weren’t coming back. I couldn’t change that and I shouldn’t waste my time trying to. In the end it was all the things I would’ve given up to have you back that saved me. My career, my friends, my family.

That’s what got me to place where I could say that I have moved on.

A place where I could finally say goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> Hoped you guys liked this, let me know if you want more and even suggest prompts. Thank you for reading and have a great day!


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